from where you stand
I wear an armor
of steel I am
protected and
protecting a paragon
of man confident valiant
content sufficient
and superficial
there is a vacuum
under my breastplate —
an empty space
of nothing pain
a dark universe expanding
every time you crank
chewing and ripping
swallowing in gulps
more of my chest
imploding —
from inside pushing a
clenched fist
against my throat
so I cannot swallow until
I cannot ignore
anymore and I have
to let go in a wild burst
that brings me down
fast and certain
this armor is too heavy
it’s too much to carry
rip it off of me
cut it off of me
and stand back
— give me space
air I can’t breathe
around you
because I’m brimming with
gut and emotion
with tears and blood
and expectations
all I need is an
unexpected shake —
a touch I don’t
anticipate
a word for which
I didn’t prepare
and it’ll gush
out of me an avalanche
of unfulfilled desires
feelings unrequited
you are hard to let go
it’s hard to swallow
when I think of you
how can I be nothing
to someone who is
my everything
and still when you
smile now here
there and then
I remember why I
fell in love
and it’s enough
to raise my head
and gasp full gulps of you
for a few moments
to fill my lungs
within my chest
within my breastplate
with air I can
breathe and
stand up
hold my self up in armor
valiant confident
sufficient and content