Kairos in English Class, or The Story of the English Teacher Who Was Mistaken for a Rhetorical Clown: A Narrative Poem in Free Verse

When I’m dancing and singing
and acting like a clown,
My students love me —
“because you’re entertaining
and funny,” they say.

But as soon as I start talking
about the Greeks, about rhetoric,
about kronos and about kairos,
‘the opportune moment’ —
they fall asleep.

I drive the chalk deep into
the blackboard and watch the
white powder slowly cover
my hands, my hair
my shirt, and my pants.

I’m soaked in it —
the ephemera of teaching,
the mojo of learning,
the antidote of ignorance,
the genesis of thinking:
standing but swimming
in white chalk powder.

Falling knowledge
like December snow —
free for the taking,
highly expected
but severely
ignored.

“It’s too theoretical,”
they tell me.
It’s all too far removed
from their worlds
(or so they think)
and they doze off,
hanging their heads
upon their palms —
guillotines of thought.

And swiftly
they drift
into a
barren
and hollow
world
far away
from

the
utopia of

English
class.

Thank you.

Come again.

[Fervent Applause]

looking for real friendship

Written by “PennyPenny” on ShanghaiExpat (See below). Poetized by me.

Hey! Guys!

I am looking
for some real
good
friendship.

Yes, some friends
to hang out with,
to go to clubs with,
to go to movies
together.

Idearly [sic] female.
(No lesbian here).

Something about me!
I am 30,
Shanghainese,
single,
nice,
funny

(a little bit
chubby,hehe…
Adele’s sister
type of girl).

My English is
not so good,
but I will try.

I can help
with your
Chinese.

feel [sic] free
to contact me
via **********@qq.com

P****

*This is Poem 3 of my 10-poem series of poems (I like saying the word “poem”) made from forum posts I found on the “Dating, singles, and relationships” on ShanghaiExpat. I decided to immortalize these words by poetizing them. The words of the poems are presented exactly as the forum posts read. Nothing was added or removed (except for line breaks, sometimes [sic] notations for wrong grammar or spelling, and asterisks for identifiable information).

Saw you in the taxi queue at Jin Mao T.

Written by “Sebastico” on ShanghaiExpat (See below). Poetized by me.

Hey…

I need some help,
Tuesday night,
August 14th,
around 9:45pm

I have seen
an amazingly
beautiful girl
in the taxi queue
in front of
the entrance
to the Grand Hyatt Hotel
in Jin Mao Tower.

She,
European looking,
blond short hair
(looked dyed)
around 1.70m
tall and white
braces and
wearing a
black/white dress
was queuing behind me.

From a quick chat
I do know that
she lives in Pudong,
somehow not far
from the Jin Mao Tower,
I guess…

If you know her
or have any
information,
just pass it on…

Ah, and all
you funny once [sic],
please spare me
with any
unnecessary
comments…

I so need
to see her
again…!!!

S

*This is Poem 1 of my 10-poem series of poems (I like saying the word “poem”) made from forum posts I found on the “Dating, singles, and relationships” on ShanghaiExpat. I decided to immortalize these words by poetizing them. The words of the poems are presented exactly as the forum posts read. Nothing was added or removed (except for line breaks and sometimes [sic] notations for wrong grammar or spelling).

Why guys like girls wearing one-piece dress so much?

Written by “serena_loves_pasta” on ShanghaiExpat (See below). Poetized by me.

I
bought a tight
pink cheetah print
one-piece dress

in a store yesterday,
and I just
wore them [sic]
after buying it
instead of

putting in [sic]
my shopping
bag.

And seconds later,
I got chatted up
by a guy.

Well, on my way.. [sic]

all the guys
just gazed at me
and made eyes
at me.

So why are
one-piece
dresses
so attractive
to guys?

It’s much
hotter
than miniskirts?

*This is Poem 2 of my 10-poem series of poems (I like saying the word “poem”) made from forum posts I found on the “Dating, singles, and relationships” on ShanghaiExpat. I decided to immortalize these words by poetizing them. The words of the poems are presented exactly as the forum posts read. Nothing was added or removed (except for line breaks and sometimes [sic] notations for wrong grammar or spelling).