She brought her napkin down and quickly glanced across the table. It was only for a moment but this time she didn’t just look at me as she had done a hundred times before. This time, she was looking for something in me and her eyes slowly penetrated the artificial and protective cloud of disinterest that I had set between us. She was hoping for some form of confirmation, ceaselessly wondering for only a moment if I felt it too. That’s when it happened. By the time I realized what she was looking for, mamihlapinatapai had taken over the moment. It is that thick and palpable fear of being controlled by consequences that keep us apart but also that undefined pleasure of taking a hold of and shaping time and a future that could be in our hands that kept us staring and wondering.
Category: Musings
Creativity
Creativity comes early
in the morning
and often
in the middle of the night.
It pervades my dreams
and wakes me up with
heavy jolts.
More often than not
I choose not to answer the call
but when I do, I always regret
taking the trip without
a pen and paper
or a keyboard at my fingertips.
It rides me hardest
when all the world is asleep
during that space of time
when relationships seem
not to exist or at least not
be as real as they are
after the alarm clock
shakes and wakes
them from their slumber.
Hypothetics
Let’s say that,
hypothetically,
you could
love me
tonight.
Tomorrow,
I could die
happy.
“Did you
write it
for me?”
She asks.
Yes, but
I’d never
admit it.